Life as a Timberwolf

This post, the fifth in a series about my “story,” is written from the comforts of my new home in Santarem.  I know it has been a while, so if you’ve forgot about me, just go back and look through the posts tagged as Testimony.  The previous post was dedicated to Eisenmann Lawn Care, which comprised a significant portion of my childhood experiences in Cissna Park.  Moving on to high school…

I was an active adolescent to say the least.  I don’t think I could remember a time in all my years in Cissna Park High School where it wasn’t a hurry up situation.   Timberwolf Basketball was a year-round endeavor, preseason-conditioning, games and practices 6 days a week during the season, upwards of 50 games in the summer, tournaments, and lifting weights.  We were good.  I enjoyed the camaraderie amongst the guys and I would say that it taught me a an additional level of discipline beyond working.  My coach was a perfectionist so we practiced and performed as such.  Unfortunately, my senior year season was stopped short at 29-2, one game short of the state tourney, on a heart-breaker of a shot, to a team that we SHOULD HAVE beaten.  But we didn’t, so you move on.

I shared the court with two of my best friends in high school.  It was a pretty safe bet that if we weren’t at a game or practice together, we were participating in some other activity together.  I’ll not comment on what we were doing, but I now realize there maybe could have been a little more wisdom in what we did….but what can I say?  I knew what was best!  Doesn’t every high schooler?

Other than basketball there was golf, FFA, Madrigal Choir, Concert Choir, Concert Band, Jazz Band, Pep Band, WYSS Team, Science Olympiad Team, Math Team, and then working.  I help my dad manage all the Eisenmann Lawn Care work and then tried to farm as much as possible.

The Lord blessed me with some brains, so I never really had to work too hard at the academic aspect of school, which really allowed me to concentrate on the extra-curricular activities.  As far as I was concerned this was great!  School was a breeze, so time to have more fun!

Now, anybody who grew up in a small farm town, or other rural US setting, knows what goes on with high school kids.  And I took it to the extreme.  I wanted my own freedom to make choices.  I wanted my status as a partier, I found my identity in hanging with the older crowd and breaking the rules.  My family wasn’t cool,  Being at home wasn’t cool.  So my life was a big party.  School, work, party.  With my perspective on life now, I”m not sure what parts of drinking, smoking, chewing, all while driving around in the country were fun, but that was my view of the good life at the time.  There’s a certain aspect of routine there.  Plus, the letting go and losing control.  No worries.  This was an opportunity to escape from reality.  Now that I write that, it sounds funny, because really what I was doing, was living out the carnality of the world, seeking pleasure and fulfillment through media that was incapable of providing such results.

As far as I was concerned, my parents knew nothing and I couldn’t wait to depart for the University of Illinois.  Then life would be better.  But that’s another post…

In making these choices, I really blew it.  I dishonored my parents and my grandparent, my sports teams, and God.  I know my late nights and rude behavior hurt my parents, and for that I am most sorry and have sought their forgiveness.  I realize now that they simply wanted to protect me from the consequences of unwise decisions.  But in a greater context and more importantly, my father wanted me to live a life pleasing unto the Lord, serving Him and bringing glory to His name.  I believe this to be the primary concern of any Christian father.

I was perpendicular to the straight and narrow.  Heading far from the path of righteousness.  I believe that God, in His Sovereignty and through His Irresistible Grace, snatches men out from darkness and brings them into the light.  However, it’s still a long trip back to the path once we see the light.  I praise God for His sanctification in my life and the ease of transitioning to a life pleasing to Him.  His grace is sufficient in ALL things.

So while I still pay for the choices that I made back then, I am able to joyfully accept them as part of my testimony of saving faith.  Praise God for His miracle of raising those bound by sin in death to life eternal!

This was simply that start of a long grievous journey that lasted all through my college years.  There were a couple glimmers of hope during high school though, but I’ll leave those for next time.

Humbled by His Mercy,
JAE